The Ghostman & Demon Hunter Show

Nathan

As some as you may have heard, we had a letter this week from a listener saying she was let go from her paranormal group because the wife of the group leader thought she was too good looking to be out alone with him on overnight hunts.

I'd love to know what some of you think about this.
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Thinking outside the Pine Box...

MagnusApollo · Joined: 14 Feb 2007 Posts: 39 Location: Rochester NY

The double edge sort of doing things such as this in a private non-business setting... You have the freedoms to do just about anything without the restrictions of jobs, laws, regulation and such... but, you are also shackled by the opinions, emotions and pitfalls you suffer in any relationship, be it one-on-one or in a group setting.

While it's unfair and unfortunate that this woman was let go... for the record, in fact, I do say it's unjust, but that is just it, it's an opinion of moi. I don't have a say in it, It was a private group (club, etc...) and it's at the whims of those in charge that sway what the group does or who is in the group. You can cry all you want that it's not fair, but sadly, there isn't anything you can do about it. You can guilt the man into hiring the woman back, but where would that get you. A odd group dynamic, possible mistrust, or dislike due to added interpsonal drama. And that would take the fun out this hobby we all find ourselves in. Drama never is a good thing to have in a group that spends most of it's time in the non-proverbial dark. Now, should that have been a business venture, or she had money staked in the group then it falls out of the range of "it's the head honchos choice" and more into the democracy's of small finance and business organization... hell you might even have legal actions for a unjustified release of position should there have been anything formally signed.

I'm in this as a little more than a hobby, I take it seriously, and have been known to have an issue here and there with a paranormal group member... And I handled it like an adult. That said, this is a hobby, and with any hobby it shouldn't have any ill effects with the personal lives of it's members. If anything starts having negative effects in anyone's life then it usually is a clear sign that the people involve might need to take a moment and review things. The man's wife should realize that this is something important to her husband and be supportive, but you don't know what else is happening in this relationship... he could have strayed before. Or the wife's previous significant other had cheated on her with someone. There are many things that happen in a life that causes someone to gain fears or worries (sometimes irrational) such as this. It's hard to judge anyone if you don't know the whole story, or have the abilities to walk in their shoes.

There are many faults here that I see, and all of them spun together to create the scenario that played out:

The Wife should have some faith in her husband. Should she not have the common trust that the man she married will not be sleeping around with a group member while out on a ghost hunt, then perhaps she should be questioning why she feels the way she does. Also she should remember that many times having this fear and pulling the leash tighter only makes the significant other wish to stray farther.

To the husband, a healthy dialog between your wife would allow more freedoms and to build up trust. If she can't trust you a night in a spooky grave yard with a hotty, then I think you might have some issues laying below the surface. Fact is that your wife doesn't trust your decision making skills. Either you have made her have this fear by your actions in the past, or she has attained them from prior experiences before your marriage. For the latter, this is not your fault and it's up to you to help her realize this. For the betterment of your life together and the future that it holds, open up communication and find a happy medium (not a psychic, I mean a common ground). Also, as a group leader, you should have a better communication skills with your crew members. They are not to be idly dismissed. They are people too! They care about this hobby as much, if not more, than yourself. talk to them and see what you can do.. offer them a position elsewhere, or have them do research, keep them a team member until a amiable agreement might be reached.

While I feel sorry for the woman that was let go, she should also realize that her position in a paranormal group shouldn't be something that should fracture the home of a married couple. If it's something that she feels so hurt about then she should speak up, not to two ghost hunters who have a podcast, but to the man she is mad at, and more specifically to the wife that had cause the decision to be made. Everyone here needs to sit down and talk, and maybe the wife will understand and realize she was over reacting. If this fails or you don't want to do that, then your options are this: Set up your own group, it's a big world out there with lots of places to hunt. Or, join an different group that is only full of people hotter than yourself. Thus ensuring your good looks will never get in the way of your hobbies again. (this is the exact reason why I want to ghost hunt with shaun, nathan and doug.. )

(now you know why they call it the mind of magnus... I just didn't have a name that started with R to go with "Rant of")
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EVP scare me... seriously, I scream like a little girl. But, don't laugh, I'm a big guy, I could, in theory hurt you.